As the great Carl Johnson once said:
I know it’s stupid but that’s how it feels. I’m sorry for going ghost on you. I shouldn’t have completely stepped away from posting music. The last two years were difficult, but not for the reasons you’d expect. I thought that leaving my van and moving into an apartment would make things easier but it didn’t. I also started back at my old job pedaling a bicycle taxi which really ate up a good chunk of my time and energy.
Also I’ll have to admit that in a lot of ways it felt like I failed. Looking back on it now I can see how false this is but in the moment though I took it pretty hard because for several years I was able to subsist completely from music. I had to live in a van so it’s almost like I got there on a technicality, but still, I was a full time artist and it showed in how much I was creating.
In five years I released four albums and toured the United States three times. I networked with heavy hitters, saw the country, created thirty videos with my friends, and really just believed to my core that I was on the right track. Progress was constant. When I moved back to Austin and got my old job back though it just felt like that scene in Toy Story where Buzz jumps for the window but breaks his arm instead. It felt like my dreams didn’t play out and that was really difficult to deal with, especially because of how relentlessly I’d pursued everything.
I’m grateful for my job though and I appreciate what it offers. Saving some money for the future feels non-negotiable at this point plus I was also able to get health insurance after like ten years of going without.
Long story short, I’m sorry I left. My spirit got crushed when Vanlife ended and my creative flame recessed into an ember. Embers are still fires though and with a little kindling, it is beginning to grow again. On January 1st of this year, I put out a new song called Roach-like Resilience. It’s available on all streaming services as well as YouTube.
I plan to keep this momentum for the rest of the year, releasing new music every month. The next one “Magical Solution” has already been submitted and should be up February 9th. Thank you for rocking with me and being patient. I hope everybody is doing well! I’m feeling pretty good about where I’m at in life and really think I can keep the momentum going from now on.
I’ve got at least fifteen songs that I’m really happy with and plan to release throughout 2024. Thanks for everything y’all
- Ferrell
